Gerard Steen grew up in an impoverished area of Belfast city during what is known as ‘The Troubles’. A mainly political conflict with an ever present sectarian dimension. “As a child I witnessed first-hand just about everything no adult should ever see. Soldiers and civilians were killed by bombs, shootings, rioting and all the havoc that came with it. But the ironic madness of it all is, it was just ‘normal’ for anyone who grew up in that era.”
Aside from the obvious effects of conflict, West Belfast was also badly effected by economic and social depravity. Similar to many such areas, drug and alcohol addiction as well as suicide are major social problems. Gerard’s exposure to this environment resulted in drug experimentation leading to a chaotic life style he would live to regret, “My life had taken a deadly turn for the worst and would have serious implications for the next 20 years.
Initially I became addicted to sniffing glue, after which I moved onto drugs and alcohol. I resorted to petty crime to fund my habit. I basically became a bad person. I was totally in denial about how my life was now gripped by my addictions. As a 15 year old I remember not being able to get the money to buy any glue. The cravings were immense and overwhelming. I broke down in tears consumed by my addiction. It was then I realised I was hooked. That I had a big, big problem. But the sad part is, despite knowing that I had a problem, I still carried on. I carried on because ‘my friends were doing it’.”
Around this time Gerard’s brother brought some weight training equipment into their home. Unbeknownst to Gerard at the time, this was his introduction to the tools that would become his salvation. “I was just messing around with the weights but I loved how they made me feel.”
As Gerard became older he continued to live in denial about the seriousness of his addictions, choosing to hide his problems from those closest to him, “I actually convinced myself that if I was to subject my body to a few weight training sessions each week then I could continue this lifestyle. Again, total denial. For the last 5 years of my 20 year addiction, I told all my loved ones that I had stopped everything and things were under control. Boy was I wrong. In reality, I had learned to hide my addiction perfectly from the outside world. This is how an addition works, you think you are in control. The phoney belief that anything is ‘really wrong’ or ‘really out of control’ or that ‘you can stop at any time’ takes root. I think of it like this – ‘It’s one small room in your mind that remains in disillusioned blissfully thinking you have full control of your addition. It’s doing 100 push ups and you’re getting stronger’ but in reality your addition is in the next room doing 5000+ push ups.”
Gerard concealed his addiction so well that he was able to function in everyday life, even holding down a regular job. His demons however were still tearing him apart and hurting those around him, “I became a prisoner within myself, my addition was shaping every single decision I made. It wasn’t what I would call a life, I was merely existing. I was consumed by a darkness that I had tried hundreds of times to break free from but couldn’t. I felt in an abyss, I was constantly depressed, violent and in complete despair. I had lost count of how many fights I had gotten myself into and was all to aware of the harm I had inflicted on other people.”
A way out of Gerard’s misery was about to present itself. Gerard lived a few streets away from Paul McIlroy, at the time Paul was a young up and coming personal trainer. After some discussion it was decided that Gerard would take part in Paul’s ’12 Week Physique’ body transformation programme.
The programme had a profound effect on people, allowing many troubled people to altogether turn their lives around. Gerard set out to rid himself of his addiction once and for all. Although it was hard he made significant progress, he seemed to have turned a corner but 11 weeks into the programme, disaster struck, “It was a Saturday night, I let my guard down and my demons crept back. I went back on drink and drugs and very nearly ended up in a coffin. That night, I got into a drug fuelled argument and I ended up getting stabbed. I received 7 stitches in my foot and a couple of grazes on my head and arm.
The knife was driven with such force it penetrated through the bone. Sitting in my hospital bed I was just busting to get back out to get drunk again, so that’s exactly what I did. Later that Sunday evening, I found myself in a complete and utter mess. I felt I couldn’t have gotten any lower at that point. There I was in my back garden, alone and secluded feeling the weight of the world bearing down on me. It was the darkest, scariest loneliest place I have ever been. I can’t even begin to describe it but believe me its a place you don’t ever want to be. I thought suicide was inevitable, I was truly a hairline away.”
Gerard was brought back from the brink by three inescapable reasons to keep going.
The first was the love for his fiancée and family, the second, his faith that God was in his presence and the third, a conversation he had with Paul McIlroy.
Paul managed to convince Gerard to complete the 12 Week Physique programme, to stay the course. Gerard knuckled down and saw it through, the transformation programme had worked its magic once more and its effect on Gerard was lasting. “I want to take this opportunity to majorly thank Paul. The feeling when I finished the 12 Week Physique was like an out of body experience. I cried tears of joy. To me, this was a real true natural high from a life experience and it felt amazing. I wanted more.”
Paul’s influence on Gerard didn’t stop after his 12 Week Physique, Gerard found himself wanting to emulate the confidence displayed by Paul and others that Paul had trained, “He had this aura about him, they (those Paul trained) seemed to have that feeling of a natural high that I now craved. The way they walked, talked and looked, it was so appealing and I wanted to be part of that. I wanted to respect myself and increase my self-esteem. I had never been able to grasp tightly onto that before, there was always something pulling me away or snapping it out of my reach.”
The 12 Week Physique delivers a holistic change, rather unconventionally it works from the outside in. The physical transformation delivers a psychological metamorphosis that has for many, been life changing. “I have become the person I have desperately wanted to become all my life. If I was to meet my old self now and make a comparison, we would be two totally different people. Anyone can make a change in their life, whatever addiction they have or lifestyle they lead. People think they can’t change or fear change, thus allowing them to find excuses not to. Often people don’t want to face their insecurities.
Perceived limitations are ingrained in people’s minds by what they read and watch on television. The world is conditioning people to fail. The human mind can make the body achieve great things but imposed barriers (self or otherwise) prevent us from delivering positive physical action. One of the most important factors in my life change was the company I kept. I am now surrounded by positive people. In my experience if you want to change your life and body, sometimes you have to change your friends as well.”
Gerard is now a qualified 12 Week Physique coach at Centaur Gym in Belfast. Every day he works to help others to change their bodies and lives by implementing Paul McIlroy’s ground breaking programme. “As 12 Week Physique coaches we provide the correct guidance, support and structure for all of our clients. Our training methods deliver a standard of excellence, we guarantee to take our clients on their own personal journey to a happier healthier lifestyle.”
“I feel like a very special gift has been bestowed upon me in being part of the 12 Week Physique team. No drink or drug high I ever experienced comes close to the feeling of knowing, I now have the power to change people’s lives.”
Gerard is now a happily married man with a beautiful family of his own. “I thank God everyday for the position I find myself in. I thank Paul also for the privileged position he has given me, it feels awesome!”